Oh baby, what have you done to me?

Connie Baker1 August 20174 min read

Connie Baker and daughter get a big hug

If you can, cast your mind back to 2004. It was a pretty big year. The largest passenger ship ever built, the RMS Queen Mary 2 made its maiden voyage, Janet Jackson suffered a wardrobe malfunction, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King won 11 academy awards, Google introduced Gmail, Shrek the Kiwi sheep was finally shorn after six years’ avoidance, TV sitcom Friends aired its final show and Martha Stewart went to prison.

For me, it was a pretty big year too. We had just become homeowners, we had just become first-time parents, I had just gone back to work full-time and been promoted. Things were hectic. I was stressed, sleep deprived and everything seemed a bit blurry. Getting back to work for me, also meant being dragged kicking and screaming back into the adult world. I used my child-free lunch breaks for banking cheques (they were still a thing back then), dental checkups, haircuts, and yes, an eye checkup. That’s when things became a little clearer.

My distance vision had become pretty shocking and my lovely optometrist, David, was initially a little perplexed at how that could have occurred so quickly since my last visit. I explained I’d really noticed it at the end of a long day, after doing a lot of close, computer work after having had such a long a break from work. “Why did you have a break from work?” he enquired. “I had time off since I had my baby!” It was a light bulb moment for David. “Well that explains it. Pregnancy will do it,” he said.

Do what? I’d read the books, I’d seen the changes to my body - I was not fitting back into those size 8 Levis any time soon and a push-up bra was now on my Christmas wish list, and yes, I was aware pregnancy could affect my teeth but, honestly, I had no idea what pregnancy had to do with my eyes!

If I focused on something up-close, such as a book or computer, when I looked up it took time for my eyes to refocus and, eventually, they didn’t refocus at all. I had never heard of it. I must have skipped that chapter in all those ‘What to expect’ new parent books. The women at work thought it was an old wives’ tale, and if it did happen your eyes went back to normal after the birth, and for some women they do, but not for me. So now I wear glasses. Now I know more:

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‘Water or fluid retention, a common side effect of pregnancy, may affect the thickness and shape of your cornea causing a vision change… that may result in blurry vision.”

What, kid’s glasses too?

Onto the next issue... choosing some glasses. This bit made me more emotional than learning about the myopia. I have a small face as it turns out, very small, as in I needed to select from the children’s section, how embarrassing. I was a fully-fledged adult now with the job, the mortgage and the offspring to prove it, but there I was trying to choose from glasses designed for children, and I’m not a purple or pink kinda girl. But bless Cheryl, the most amazing optometrist’s assistant that ever worked the floor. She was fantastic, quickly sweeping up options from the kid’s section and floating over to the ‘big person’ section for me to try them on and still feel like an adult. I still have that first set of frames she helped me choose as spares since I still love them - the way they sit, how lightweight they are, even the blue/green colour.

While my eyesight has not degenerated any further, I’m still sporting specs and thanking the now-teen for all the results of her birth over the intervening years - someone please pass the hair dye and the wrinkle cream!